Symptom of a control freak-Control freak - Wikipedia

Tell how to communicate well or give tips to socialize. To have everything 'your way', is pleasing to every human being. Also, thinking that you are right in every situation, is normal. But, understanding that you are right only from your perspective and not considering the fact that other people have their own perspective, and that too can be correct, is a different thing altogether. There are 3 kinds of people: the ones who do not bother or interfere with anyone else there are very few of them , the ones who are bothered about their close ones especially , so they try advising them about how things should be, only out of concern, and the ones who are bothered with mostly everyone.

Symptom of a control freak

Subscribe Issue Archive. While having complete control over your life Symptom of a control freak not necessarily a bad thing, managing how other people live their lives can be. There would be something very deep-rooted, maybe a disturbing childhood, quarreling parents or some devastating experience that probably threw things apart for you. Be vulnerable with people. It's nobody's fault that he chose to be a common criminal, and is worthless at best. Having a vision of what your future is like is comforting, after all. Control freaks Submitted by Aj on April 16, - am. It does no good to argue.

Kissing cousins pictures stories. Personality Traits of a Control Freak

Are personality disorders genetic or environmental? I already have kids and I do everything I can to support their self-esteem and give them good experiences. Use these 20 signs of a control freak and fix your controlling attitude. If you are controlling another person, it is because that person's life is associated with your own in some way, and you think their wrong decisions would affect your life. You make someone else responsible for how Symptom of a control freak feel. Yes, they've helped me, no I am not incompetent. Notify me when new comments are posted. My older brother is exactly like that. No am not high just tired lol anyways he likes Free scottish swingers get high so I can't communicate ever. December 4, at am.

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  • We've all been there - forced to work with, or for, a person who is a total control freak.
  • Are you convinced that the only way to achieve happiness or do a good job is by doing it yourself?
  • When you suffer from anxiety it can seem like nothing is under your control.
  • When one is hurt by the world itself—often represented initially as our parents, or caretaking environment—it is a natural human reaction to try to control it.
  • Have you ever woken up and dreaded going to work?
  • Tell how to communicate well or give tips to socialize.

In one of my previous jobs, I had a boss who was the true definition of a control freak. Everything had to be done his way. He felt that he had to micromanage all his subordinates down to the smallest detail. He would sometimes dictate the exact template he wanted me to use in my PowerPoint presentations. He was quick to point out whenever I did something wrong. At first, I never thought much of it. I assumed that he simply wanted to make sure everything was done perfectly, and being a new employee, I went along with his wishes.

Unfortunately, the behavior never stopped even after I had been with the company for a while. Eventually, his controlling nature became too exhausting for me. I ended up quitting less than a year after I got hired.

You will find control freaks everywhere. The control freak might be a micromanaging boss like in my case, a controlling best friend, an insecure partner or even the big sister who insists that everything has to be done her way. Being around such people is never a pleasant experience. You feel exhausted and suffocated, robbed of your own individuality. The worst part is that most control freaks rarely realize that they are controlling.

They often think that they are doing it for the greater good, which can make it quite hard for them to change their behavior. Sometimes, it might even be difficult for you to recognize that you are dealing with a control freak. A control freak can be described as an individual who has a compulsive need to have total control over every aspect of his or her life.

The control freak also feels justified in his attempts to control various aspects of the lives of those around him. To achieve this, the control freak will undermine and manipulate others with the aim of getting them to do what he or she wants. The primary goal of the control freak is to instill total control over their own life.

Attempting to control others is a protective measure and a by-product of trying to have everything around them under control. Control freaks have a hard time trusting people or delegating tasks to others. They hate surprises. They fear that without control, their lives will spiral out of control. If they find themselves in a situation where they are not in control, they tend to go ballistic. Since control freaks feel the need to be in control of every aspect of their life, they also have this strong need to control their image.

Instead, they justify their controlling behaviors by claiming that they are doing what they are doing because they are the only ones competent enough to get things done. They believe that without them, the lives of everyone around them will fall apart. In extreme cases, a control freak might be clinically diagnosed to be suffering from obsessive compulsive personality disorder OCD.

Such people experience a lot of anxiety just being in the world, something that compels them to try and instill control over everything and everyone around them. Unfortunately, this is a futile attempt that makes matters even worse since the world is a dynamic place full of unpredictable twists and turns. It is impossible to achieve total control over life.

So, how do you spot a control freak? Below are some of the signs that may signal that someone is too controlling. Control freaks are very averse to mistakes, both in their lives and in the lives of those around them.

Mistakes make them anxious and angry. A controlling person will correct you whenever they have the opportunity. They will let you know if you misspell a word in a text message or pronounce a word wrongly. They will point out if you give an irrational argument. One thing you need to note about this behavior by control freaks is that they do not do it because they want you to improve. Instead, they do it because they believe they are always right, and that things should always be done the right way, which is their way.

Control freaks are very poor at delegation. They have a hard time delegating tasks. They will do everything by themselves unless it is virtually impossible for them to do it. They believe that they are the most qualified to do something and that they are the only ones who can do it to perfection. They believe that the delegated task will not be done satisfactorily, regardless of the expertise of whoever does it. If they do delegate something, they will thoroughly go over it trying to find mistakes.

If they find a single mistake, they will harshly criticize whoever did the task and overhype their importance. Control freaks believe they know it all. They believe that they are more practical, intelligent or logical than everyone else.

When they get into arguments, they always try to win, because anything else rather than their line of thought is simply wrong. In any situation, they want to be the ones to put in the last word.

They want to be the ones setting the rules and enforcing them. This is one of the most annoying traits of a control freak; they will never admit that they have made a mistake. Instead, they will shift the blame to someone else. Since control freaks believe they are always right, admitting to a mistake would bruise their fragile egos, which have to be protected at all costs.

They think it will make others perceive them as foolish or incompetent if they admit to a mistake. Working as part of a team means you have to cede some amount of control to the rest of the team. This is a difficult thing for control freaks.

If they find themselves as part of a team, they will quickly try to establish themselves as a leader so that they can have the opportunity to dictate the behavior of the rest of the team. Control freaks are highly judgmental and critical of others. They have opinions about everything, from how people should dress, talk, and eat to how they should live their entire lives. Their opinions are taken as fact, and anyone who does not act in accordance with their opinions is met with a lot of criticism.

No matter what someone else does, it will never be good enough; they will find a reason to criticize it. Their judgmental and critical behavior can make them come across as pious and hypocritical to those who know them well. Control freaks cannot control this behavior. It is instinctive. Demeaning and talking ill about other makes them feel good about themselves. This has an adverse effect on their relationships, since they end up pushing people away with their constant judgment and criticism.

Control freaks believe that they are the only ones who know what is best for everyone else. Because of this, they will try as much as possible to get others to do things their way. They will use different manipulation strategies in an attempt to change others. They try to micro-manage others to ensure that they act in accordance with their expectations. They might even use silent treatment as a passive-aggressive strategy to get you to change your behavior to align with their expectations.

Being around control freaks can be quite unsettling and unhealthy. Their rigid routines, condescending demeanor, constant advice and manipulation can get on your nerves and even induce stress or depression if unchecked. Control freaks are usually drawn to people with a victim mentality or a low self-esteem, according to an article by psychiatrist Judith Orloff. This is because the control freak knows that he or she will be able to exercise control over such people, who usually have problems setting up and maintaining boundaries.

The key to dealing with control freaks, therefore, is to assert your personal boundaries. Let the controlling person know that you are your own person who can make your own decisions and that you deceive your privacy.

Below are some things you can do to assert your personal boundaries when dealing with a control freak:. Trying to argue with a control freak will never work.

Control freaks believe that they are always right. They are experts when it comes to justifying themselves, and they always try to win every argument. Bringing up an argument will only make matters worse, since you cannot possibly out-argue them. If you find yourself in a disagreement with a control freak, state you position without trying to justify it. If you try to explain why going to the park is not a good idea today, you will get into an argument that will be difficult for you to win, and one that will leave you feeling drained.

Unfortunately, getting angry at the control freak will not make things any better. Getting angry will show the control freak that he or she is getting to you, which will only make them determined to control you.

In addition, getting upset will make the control freak perceive you as a weak person who can be controlled. By giving such an impression, you will be encouraging them to target you. To avoid this, you should maintain your calm when dealing with a controlling person. Simply stand your ground firmly without losing your cool. As you continue standing up to a control freak, they will start losing their grip over you, which will make them even more anxious.

In an attempt to regain their control over you, the control freak will increase their pressure though more manipulative behaviors. If the control freak is a romantic partner, for example, he or she might give you the silent treatment, ignoring your calls and texts and acting moody when you are together. In extreme cases, he or she might even stop having sex with you in an attempt to get you back under their control.

If the control freak is your boss, he or she might ignore your suggestions at work or try to badmouth you to superiors.

Accept that a large portion of life is laced with unknowns. Controlling Ways. That quality itself is a central ingredient in the person we might call a control freak. It came to the point where her new husband feared telling her any time he was sick and hid his symptoms when he was ill. Add drug addiction to the mix, and you have a living nightmare. Figure out the possible cause of your behavior.

Symptom of a control freak

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Those with paranoid personality disorder also control their own perceptions by allowing a severe distrust to develop for other people; this, in turn, also controls their environment in that other people begin to value their opinions less and less. Obsessive-compulsive personalities exercise control over his or her anxiety; instead of being held captive by their anxieties, they release them through their compulsions. Control plays a huge role in the case of most personality disorders, as the individual learns to cope with their disorder by exercising control in one way or another.

Narcissistic: Perception Control The narcissistic person controls his or her perceptions and experiences of self and other by cutting themselves off from relating to others through an inability to empathize and thereby limits the value of others… thereby not exposing her or himself to hurt or disappointment. Paranoid: Environmental and Perception Control Symptoms of paranoid personality disorder include chronic, pervasive distrust of other people; suspicion of being deceived or exploited by others, including friends, family, and partners; angry outbursts in response to deception; and cold, secretive, or jealous behavior.

Obsessive-Compulsive: Anxiety Control The obsessive-compulsive personality is characterized by a preoccupation with orderliness, perfection, and control of relationships. Jonathan on May 5, at am. My recent girlfriend left me because I am a control freak.

I need help please. Submit a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Find A Counselor. Related Posts. Why personality disorders are difficult to treat: Is there a cure? Are personality disorders genetic or environmental? Is pessimism or optimism a mental illness? What is avoidant personality disorder? Symptoms, causes, and treatment Updated. Is multiple personality disorder real? Download Now.

Trending Categories. All-time Popular Posts. Popular This Month. Sports fan depression is real: Did your team lose last night? Does lying doom relationships? Social media: the cause of low self-esteem among women? With the control freaks in my life, this is only going to lead to an argument.

Some more helpful strategies would have been a better conclusion. Precisely my situation. The control freak I have to deal with, cannot be reasoned with. He's a self centered, full of himself individual with a false sense of security, egotistical maniac who fancies himself to be something of a rambo and macgyver. He's just a crack head, useless prick failure, that has an extreme inferiority complex, and therefore needs to constantly prove himself to the world, because deep inside he knows he's a loser.

Instead of leaving drugs, pay his debts, and get a job; he sinks himself in bed, doing drugs and playing the victim. It's nobody's fault that he chose to be a common criminal, and is worthless at best. I cannot see myself getting along with someone as such It does no good to argue. I just stay in the marriage and blame myself for not seeing the real person before I said "I do". I have tried to explain how I feel, but I am always wrong Never have I seen a more accurate description of a certain person I know!

I'm not sure that pointing out concrete examples would do any good, because the person would just be offended and deflect any criticism to me. Luckily I can afford to laugh at this situation at this point. These traits are common among codependents, who have problems with self-will. Control is a symptom of codependency underlying all addiction , often because they grew up feeling powerless in the face of a domineering or out-of-control parent.

The first step of Step programs addresses this, stating, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, food, other people, et al. Thank you for posting something with some hint of compassion and something actionable.

For myself, having just become fully aware that the anger that has dominated my life during times of stress is centered around control, reading these other comments has been very painful. I am a human being. I already have kids and I do everything I can to support their self-esteem and give them good experiences. I have a strong, supportive marriage. But I display all of the tendencies in this article pretty frequently. I was hit, kicked in a corner, strangled, raped, screamed at, and abused for wetting the bed as a child.

I do my best with the life I have been given and have been working on acceptance of what happened to me and what I have done. According to the other commenters here I am toxic, but my family tells me I am not. I have never hit my kids. I criticize my older son way too much but I am working on that. I love him and I tell him all the time that he is wonderful and smart and kind and clever and creative. It's just when he makes a mistake I jump all over it.

I am trying to change. I got him a phone for his room so he can always call his grandparents or aunts or uncles or friends. I told him that I'm sorry and I explained that I'm going to a doctor because he deserves better. I don't know what else to do. I will not solve anything by just not existing. Dear Jennifer, I know I am a complete stranger to you, but I want to express my sadness for what happened to you when you were a child and that you have been left to pick up the pieces.

I came here to look for information about a coworker of mine who seems to be codependent and who suffocates my workplace with her codependency. I decided to read through the comments to see if anyone brought up something similar to my situation, saw your comment, and had to express my sincerest wish that you are able to push through.

One day at a time, darling. That you got your son a phone as an escape from your tendencies shows a wisdom that is sure to carry you through. Best of luck to you. Is there a more subtle, covert type of control freak? This person may rarely argue or display the other more obvious symptoms. In a particular case "his" imposition is not so obvious. He talks to his wife about inviting his father, half sister, half brother, half cousin, half nephew no joke here , etc.

To me it seems that his idea of inviting those people is ostensible. I had already posted in a similar article on this very same site, so I'm not going to repeat myself. Just want to ask those who are in similar situations, what do you do when you have to live with an obvious narcissistic sociopath, that also consumes drugs, which to add to the mix; makes him paranoid constantly.

Further more, I think he is bipolar or whatever you call someone that unpredictably changes personality I'm a 38 year old man, and should not have to put up with the likes of this dude, who I don't even want to consider a brother. I cannot financially afford my own place, and apart from trying to keep my distance from the subject, there's not much more I can do.

Someone helps you and you think it's great. They on the other hand see it as you are incompetent and proceed to treat you like an irresponsible child, trying to make you more independent, fixing you. People like this like putting themselves in these positions for the power it brings them to fill their boring lives with something.

If someone is that stupid and the price is worth it to me I'll play along to some extent, but not to the point of total control. Yes, they've helped me, no I am not incompetent. No, they should not have helped me if their intentions were to be nasty about it. Moral of the story, don't be nasty to someone because they ask for help and you give it just to boost your ego, or otherwise. Some people are incompetent. Happy medium people.. I didn't find this article accusatory at all. It's sort of a relief to find an exact description of what I have to deal with: a person who insists on controlling everything because she says I and everyone else especially postal workers are incompetent.

It's so stressful listening to road rage, death wishes againt people, and all the times she interrupts me before I can finish a sentence to put me down for what she thought I was about to say. I didn't even know how stressed out I was until a police officer told me once to stop being nervous.

And then a postal worker one who is familiar with the control freak's wrath also told me not to be nervous when I was mailing a letter. Lately, I've been standing up for myself more and the control freak is exhibiting a lot of resentment, stonewalling, hissing profanity.

This makes me nervous. But I was wondering if their resentment simply means that they are feeling out of control and that I might have more power than I realize.

It's just scary living in an isolated region and not knowing if you can count on your family or if they have written you off for defying them. Does anyone have an opinion as to what it means when a control freak acts really resentful without explanation? It makes me wonder if they spying on my online activity because they seem angry when I vent or post anonymously like right now.

Seth Meyers, Psy. Emotionally bitter individuals can be frustrating, but understanding them helps. One factor weighs heavily in relationship satisfaction.

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Connect with me on LinkedIn. Don't do that to a child. Just Submitted by Shaine on April 15, - am. The Submitted by Anonymous on April 15, - pm. Well said Submitted by ctrl freak on June 20, - am. Well said. Narcissist and sociopath Submitted by Nelson on May 8, - am.

I Submitted by Sylvie on June 22, - am. Sorry last word Stockholm Submitted by sylvie on June 22, - am. Sorry last word Stockholm syndrome. Sorry Stockholm syndrome Submitted by sylvie on June 22, - am. Sorry Stockholm syndrome. Mothers Submitted by S. Ross on November 14, - am. Never give up!

It does get better. Monkey out of control Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, - pm. Anonymous wrote:. Yeah I get told to shut up Submitted by sylvie on June 22, - am. Yeah I get told to shut up and do as your told??? What the??? I am 50 not his child. What a shame Submitted by Lance on April 14, - pm. Poorly written and in an accusatory and judgmental tone.

Submitted by Anonymous A on April 14, - pm. And yet the article is so devastatingly accurate. I sometimes feel that I've made my point and won an argument. I have the same problem with Submitted by sylvie on June 22, - am. Omg my last sentence did not Submitted by sylvie on June 22, - am. Control freaks Submitted by Aj on April 16, - am. Submitted by Y Google on April 23, - pm. I think that disorder is pure Submitted by Peeter Odin on June 20, - pm.

Should be titled "how to start an argument with a control frea". Submitted by Sasha on June 21, - pm. Exactly Submitted by Nelson on May 8, - am. It's not like you can convince them of your feelings about it. Submitted by Holly on June 24, - pm. Submitted by Yvonne on June 27, - pm. Thank you Submitted by Jennifer on April 1, - pm. Hang in there, Jennifer Submitted by Mae on November 5, - pm. This situation is like a nightmare that you cannot wake up from. Someone helps you and you Submitted by Mk on December 17, - am.

Sounds just like someone in my family Submitted by E on August 24, - pm. Post Comment Your name. E-mail The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. Notify me when new comments are posted. All comments. Replies to my comment. Leave this field blank. About the Authors. In Print:.

5 Signs That You Are Dealing With a Control Freak | Psychology Today

Verified by Psychology Today. They worry about what other people think, or they waste time trying to convince their partners to change. Joining a team means you have to give up some control. Control freaks believe that, with enough effort and skill, they can accomplish anything. Most control freaks believe they know what is best for everyone, and try to convince other people to do things differently. Whether they lecture, become aggressive, or manipulate things behind the scenes, the goal is to make other people act a certain way.

Consequently, they struggle to maintain healthy personal and professional relationships. If they do delegate, they insist on micromanaging every step of the way. Since control freaks believe success stems solely from talent and effort, they lack compassion for those who struggle. They view mistakes as signs of laziness or stupidity, and they think everyone should succeed, regardless of their circumstances. To build mental strength , practice controlling your emotions, rather than controlling everything around you.

Build confidence in your ability to deal with discomfort — and practice accepting that not everything will go as planned.

With a concerted effort, you can regain control over yourself. Want to know how to give up the bad habits that rob you of mental strength? The passive aggressive control freak. The martyr complex control freak. The paranoid control freak. And of course the counterintuitive hoarder control freak. What they all share is a pathological need for all power coupled with an absolute disdain for all accountability.

And could you explain: "What they all share is a pathological need for all power coupled with an absolute disdain for all accountability. Control freaks if they don't change their ways and they often don't end up losing whatever it is they are trying to hold on to. Try controlling your emotions? Great advice to give someone who is a control freak. Do you tell that to someone in grief after losing their spouse? Do you tell that to someone who may be meeting the love of their life? Your heart knows more than your head.

Emotions must be experienced, or they will lead to physical or psychological illness. Anyone can learn to control their emotions better. I think k you are confusing "emotional regulation" with suppression. Therapists often teach emotional regulation skills so people can gain better control over how they feel. Most anxiety disorders go undiagnosed and untreated for 10 years. How to help everyone in the home reach their greatest potential this year. Even a slight decline in mental health can affect your financial situation.

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Submitted by Remz on March 26, - pm. So which one are you? Control freak Submitted by Pauline Fife on November 9, - pm. Control Freak Submitted by Rick on August 16, - am. Emotional regulation is a skill Submitted by Em on August 16, - am. Post Comment Your name.

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Symptom of a control freak

Symptom of a control freak