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One of the many reasons sex is puzzling is that we lack reliable data. People lie to friends, lovers, doctors, surveys and themselves.
Three years ago, when I was a graduate student in economics, I began to write about how new data, particularly Google searches, could give us fresh insights into socially sensitive topics. Since then, many people have asked me to write about sex. I was wary because I wanted to do more research. How much sex are we having? Traditional surveys are no good at answering this question. I analyzed data from the General Social Survey, a classic source. Heterosexual men 18 and over say that they average 63 sex acts per year, using a condom in 23 percent of them.
This adds up to more than 1. Heterosexual women say they average 55 sex acts per year, using a condom in 16 percent of them. This adds up to about 1. According to Nielsen, fewer than million condoms are sold every year. Americans may also be exaggerating how often they have unprotected sex. About 11 percent of women between the ages of 15 and 44 say they are sexually active, not currently pregnant and not using contraception.
Even with relatively conservative assumptions about how many times they are having sex, we would expect 10 percent to become pregnant every month. But this would already be more than the total number of pregnancies in the United States which is one in women of childbearing age.
Men who have never been married claim to average 29 condom uses per year. This is more than the total number of condoms sold in the United States to married and single people combined. Married people probably exaggerate how much sex they have, too.
On average, married men under 65 tell surveys they have sex once a week. Only 1 percent say they have gone the past year without sex. Married women say there is a little less sex but not much less. Google searches give a far less lively picture of sex during marriage. On Google, the top complaint about a marriage is not having sex. Even couples not yet married complain somewhat frequently about lack of sex.
On Google, there are five and a half times more complaints about an unmarried partner not wanting sex than an unmarried partner refusing to text back. One quick point about sexuality. In a previous article , I argued that more men are gay than surveys suggest and that the closet remains a cause of huge amounts of secret suffering.
But I also found that about 95 percent of men are heterosexual. Taken altogether, the data suggest that Americans manage to have sex about 30 times per year — or once every 12 days. Google searches suggest one predominant reason: enormous anxiety, with much of it misplaced. From a Google search alone, we cannot know the gender of a user.
Men Google more questions about their sexual organ than any other body part: more than about their lungs, liver, feet, ears, nose, throat and brain combined. Men make more searches asking how to make their penises bigger than how to tune a guitar, make an omelet or change a tire. Do women care about penis size? Rarely, according to Google searches. Another major sexual concern is climaxing prematurely.
Once again, the insecurities of men do not appear to match the concerns of women. There are roughly the same number of searches asking how to make a boyfriend climax more quickly as climax more slowly. We do not often talk about male body insecurity.
And while it is true that overall interest in personal appearance skews female, it is not as lopsided as stereotypes would suggest. According to my analysis of Google AdWords also based on anonymous, aggregate web activity , interest in beauty and fitness is 42 percent male; weight loss is 33 percent male; and cosmetic surgery is 39 percent male. Every year, in the United States, there are more than seven million searches looking into breast implants. Official statistics tell us that about , women go through with it annually.
Beginning in , however, the desire for bigger butts grew in the rest of the United States. This interest has tripled in four years. In , there were more searches asking how to make your butt bigger than smaller in every state. These days, for every five searches looking into breast implants in the United States, there is one looking into butt implants. Interestingly, yes. In the no surprise department, men show a preference for large breasts.
About 12 percent of nongeneric pornographic searches are looking for big breasts. This is nearly 20 times higher than the search volume for small-breast porn.
That said, it is not clear that this means men want women to get breast implants. About 3 percent of big-breast porn searches explicitly say they want to see natural breasts. Women, like men, have questions about their genitals.
In fact, they have nearly as many questions about their vaginas as men have about their penises. But at least 30 percent of their questions take up other concerns. Women want to know how to shave it, tighten it and make it taste better.
A strikingly common concern is how to improve its odor. Women are most frequently concerned that their vaginas smell like fish, followed by vinegar, onions, ammonia, garlic, cheese, body odor, urine, bread, bleach, feces, sweat, metal, feet, garbage and rotten meat. Mostly, men are trying to figure out how to tell a woman about a bad odor without hurting her feelings.
I know I am obsessed with Google searches and other new data sets. I ask myself all the time whether I am taking it too far. Every researcher, no matter how grounded in data, can let his biases get in the way of the truth. This data is all public. Other researchers will undoubtedly add their own interpretations and ask new questions. Dan Ariely, a psychologist at Duke, offers a reason for caution in interpreting this data.
While most data sources underestimate sexual thoughts, he suspects that Google may overestimate them. You are less likely to ask your relatives about penis enlargement.
Many people expect that any given Google search will be made millions of times. People do not type everything they think into Google. It is suggestive, not definitive. I AM hardly an expert on sex.
Professionally, I am neither a psychologist nor a sex therapist. Just about every study I have done relying on Google searches made me feel worse about the world.
Huge numbers of people are racist and sexist; far too many children suffer from unreported abuse. But after studying the new data on sex, I actually feel better. This data makes me feel less lonely. In my previous studies of Google data, I had found the viciousness that humans often hide.
But this time around, I have seen our hidden insecurities. Men and women are united in this insecurity and confusion. Google also gives us legitimate reasons to worry less than we do. Many of our deepest fears about how our sexual partners perceive us are unjustified. Alone, at their computers, with no incentive to lie, partners reveal themselves to be fairly nonsuperficial and forgiving. Sunday Review Searching for Sex.
Log In. ARE you confused by sex? I certainly am. Who is telling the truth, men or women?
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